Sky's Memory Lane

Most of the people would say, Photo is the best way to keep certain memories afresh, so that the sweet moments would stay there for us to glance back.
But when i looked back to those pictures, it does not remind me of my sweet moments only, it makes me sad. Perhaps i'm not satisfied with my current life, i longed for the past.
i love it when i was in my elementary school. i had a "girl friend" there, grand daughter of the head master. it was great, i dont have to worry for anything. i went to school in the morning, singing along with the radio, imitating Aaron Kwok in the afternoon, watching Ultraman killing monsters every thursday. Most of all, my family is whole by then.
i love it too, when i was in my primary school. Although my father left us when i was in standard 3, it didn't really stops me from enjoying my childhood. My life starts mingling with music back then, when i decided to join the military band of SRJK(C) Chung Cheng. It was, my happiest time of my childhood. Not to mention that i was one of the elite students who got picked by the school for the PTS test, which, if passed, will have us go directly from standard 3 to standard 5. I didn't make it though, but it's okay, i earn some great friendship, for example, Lik Yin, Teck Kean, etc... Did you know that we once played "Ultraman Killing Monster" Game in class? We sort of bullied a kid in our class, having him to potray as every monster appeared in the series.. He's a Pantai Remis kid, with kinda-dirty appearance, pity him.... i still remembered there's once he had a ring around his eyes, and we lost counted who did it to him, since then we dropped the game... that boy came to school with his mother yelling her head off, it was 1 of the funny scenes i had.
Do you know when i started to know about Cyber Cafe? It was when i'm in standard 6. We went to play Counter Strike on an afternoon, skipping tuition, along with Tony, Chai Kang, and a few more friends. The feeling of breaking rules is thrilling.
When i was sent for secondary, i was a bit nervous at first, scared of losing friends, but luckily we all went into the same class. I applied for school prefect, having to think that it was so cool to be one, and i stayed as a prefect for the rest of my secondary years. Having asked "the" question, i answered: I wanted to serve the school, helping to maintain discipline of the student. What an answer! hahaha, i'm breaking rules under the guise as well, how on earth am i goin to do so? But i did contribute quite a lot to the school, helping to catch smokers in the school and such, it's just my own attitude's problem i wasn't promoted, so told the Discipline master to me. I learned a lot in my secondary years, about vocals from school's Choir team, about musics from school's Military Band, about relationships from my crushes, etc... i enjoyed my secondary years, even though i didn't thought i would. My sweetest memory when i was in secondary would probably be spending time with my crush-at the moment. ( XD )
Now i'm in college, i felt my friends are all gone, they would not stay beside me anymore, we didn't have class gathering anymore, even if they had, i would be too busy for it, because i had dedicated my time to the church. my college lads are only available when we're all in college. every time when i was in kampar, i felt so lonely, as if there's not shelter for me there. i felt so alone, until i've hooked up with my ex, last time. It was warm by then, having to fight for my future, for someone i love, someone who cares alot abt me, i felt so energetic. But, for that cause, i tend to demand alot from her, so in the end, we break up. it was hard to maintain, for peoples like me, cause i want alot from my couple, i want full attention, which would bring her a lot of pressure.
Actually i don't enjoy my college life, it was dull, and lonely.
i love my past more than i love my future.

The only thing i would love in my future is what can i do for my Lord. I want to build Him an Army of Praise, I'm working towards this direction now, and i believe, within His guidance, i will succeed in this mission. plz pray for me.